[This is the first of three new log entries, which were actually
written over the past two weeks. You might want to read them in
order. Even if you do this, though, a couple of references in this
entry are foreshadowings that will not make sense until later on. Oh,
and if you don't know anything about Star Trek, skip this entry
altogether.]
Vietnam. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship
Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to go where no tourist has gone
before.
Data: Captain, I am detecting a Borg cube on the
long-range scanners.
Picard: Scan for life-forms.
Data: Four Vietnamese immigrants returning to their
hive. Life signs are weak indicating advanced age.
Picard: Worf, any weaknesses on their ship?
Worf: The Borg alcoves are very compressed to
accomodate the huge suitcases in the trunk. But the suitcases are
empty.
Picard: Then?...
Deanna: Captain, I sense an irrepressible desire to
buy trinkets and fill up the suitcases.
Riker: But won't that make their ship too heavy for
flight?
Picard: Number One, weight does not affect space
flight. And Borg cubes allow 70kg (150lb) per passenger of luggage...
Borg: Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
Picard: Never! We will have our own vacation without
endless shopping.
Borg: The individual is irrelevant.
Wesley: Captain, I know what we can do!
Picard: Wes, you are not supposed to be on the
bridge. Go back to popping your zits.
Beverly: Jean-Luc, listen to him, he has a plan.
Wesley: We can send our elite troupe of warriors to
sell so many trinkets to the Borg to boggle the hive mind.
Picard: Excellent idea, Wes! Number One, send in the
Hmong!
[...]
Data: It's not working captain! We ran out of
trinkets! The Borg applied their time-honored negotiating skills and
bought absolutely everything at cheap prices. Then they compressed it
all to fit within the available trunk space and all open floor space
between and under the alcoves.
Borg: Prepare for assimilation.
[...]
Christine: I am the Cutest, designation Six of Seven,
unimatrix Saigon Tourist.
Toli [whose digital camera is now permanently affixed
to his skull]: My designation is Seven of Seven.
Christine and Toli: We are Borg.
Borg Queen [whose fingers are replaced with
chopsticks]: Have some more nanoprobes, my young Borgs, you are too
skinny.