Weird City Names

The US has many interesting city names. Here's a couple of the better ones that a friend and I found, using the geographic nameserver at the University of Michigan (telnet 3000):

(p.s. Thanks to Senator Exon, for making this geography illegal! If you're under 18, turn off the computer and go study, uh, geography or something... :-)

An oxymoron: High, Texas, and Low, Utah?

* Lots of Joy, but none in California!

Alabama has Intercourse, but Utah has a Virgin.

Pennsylvania has Fertility, Desire, Intercourse, and Climax... Those wild Quakers!

Pig, Kentucky.

Louisiana has a Start, but there's no Finish...

One Tiny, two Small's, and a Large.

Earth, Texas, USA, Earth...

Poor Uranus is the only planet in the solar system without a city. I guess it sounds bad when you say "I'm from your anus..."

* 4 Rich, and only 1 Poor.

* Utopia is almost everywhere.

Suburban, New Jersey.

* There's an Arm (MS), 2 Hand's (MI, SC), a Heart (AR), and 2 Finger's (NC, TN), but no leg, head or body anywhere.

You can find a Climax in 17 states.

France, England, Spain, Russia, Brazil, India, China, Korea, Italy, Turkey, Lebanon, Sudan, and Egypt are all in the United States.

You can go to Blue, Green, Orange, Violet, Black, White, Brown, or Pink, but not Yellow or Red.

Oxymoron: Flat Kentucky, vs. Hilly Louisiana.

Illinois may have Melody, but it sure doesn't have any Rhythm.

I knew Texas had a Desert, but I didn't know it had a Tundra...

Just plain Ordinary, Kentucky...

There's also Normal, Kentucky.

Kentucky has both Awe and Wonder.

Kentucky has both Beauty and Grace.

For Richard Marx fans: Yes, there is a Hazard, Nebraska.

America, Oklahoma.

Arkansas has both Simpson and Goldman.

Speaking of Simpsons, 33 states have a Springfield.

* There's North, South, and West, but no East.

There's Winter, Spring, and Summer, but no Fall or Autumn.

* There's Weather in PA, but KY has Rain, Hail, Snow, and Ice!

* Cool, California!

* Madonna, MD. (Madonna's a medical doctor???)

* Mobile is somewhere between AL and AZ.

* Remote Oregon.

* There's a Hell, but no Heaven.

What are you looking for in life?
Inspiration? Go to Arizona.
Opportunity? See Montana.
Jobs? Head for Kentucky.
Security? That's in Colorado.
Peace? It's in Alabama.
Success? You'll find it in Texas.

You think Kansas City, Missouri is confusing? Try this loop: New York, Kentucky. Kentucky, Michigan. Michigan, Vermont. Vermont, Indiana. Indiana, Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania, Alabama. Alabama, New York.

For those of you who think you know your state capitals: Sacramento, Nebraska. Lincoln, Wisconsin. Madison, Tennesee. Nashville, New York. Albany, California.

Every US President since Eisenhower has had a US city bearing his name. What does this say about the 1996 election? If the frequency of city names is any indication, Clinton will get re-elected. These candidates are in the running: Clinton (34 states), Jackson (28), Powell (20), Buchanan (15) [Ugh!], Alexander (12), Forbes (5), Dole (2), Keyes (2), and Gramm (1). So who's out? There are no cities named Kerrey, Gephardt, Bradley, Specter, Lugar, Perot, or (thankfully) Quayle.

It's important to pick a good vice-president, too. There's a city named Gore, but no Quayle. There's plenty of cities named Bush, but no Bentsen or Ferraro.

13 states have a Lucas.

*: Courtesy of Kinshuk Govil

Back to Lucas' writings.
Back to Lucas' homepage.